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Things You Don't Want To Hear After Takeoff

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–Don’t worry; this baby can still fly just fine with only one engine.
–$100 says this thing can too do a barrel roll.
–Let’s see if that loudmouth Delta pilot can play a little game of “chicken”
–Captain, did you just say, “Thank you for flying Jihad Airlines” ?
–No, I thought it was your turn to close the airtight door.
–Idiot! Never, never, set your coffee cup on that “Fuel Dump” button.
–Wow, what a coincidence, it’s my first day on the job, too.
–Captain, why don’t you just put this thing on auto-pilot and come join our little party?
–Does anyone know what that flashing red light thingy is?
–What do you mean, you just got us a 50% discount at our last refueling stop?
–Tower, did you just say, “eeney, meeney, miney, moe?
–Here’s your parachute, here’s yours, and yours, and here’s mine.

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